* blah blah blah *

I arrived back to sweaty Savannah last Sunday. During the 10 hour drive I only got fished with 11 of the Anna Karenina CDs. Not even half way through the book. I keep wanting to ask someone to just tell me the rest. But I am enjoying it so much, I don’t want to ruin it. In my twisted mind, I am expecting Ana to die - some crazy death.

I swear it has been 100% humidity here everyday. If you are curious to how 100% humidity feels, just turn up your heat as high as it will go and put a plastic bag over your head. All of the sudden, you are aware that breathing is no longer voluntary. But by July your body adjusts and the humidity is part of your everyday life. It’s the only thing I hate about living in the south.

While I was home I came to terms with a lot of things. Like, my mother is going to die and I am not the only person in the world that has gone through this. People loose parents everyday, some much younger than me. Hell, some people don’t even have parents. I am no longer pissed that my mother and father decided to have me 10 years after my sisters. It could have been worse, they could have never had me at all. It’s ok that since the age of 10 I have been taking care of sick people and they always die. I could have never had that time with them at all. Even when I went away to College, I somehow started taking care of this older gentleman in my building. His only living relative was an 80 year old sister. As depressing as this sounds, I really do feel better. For the first time, I talked about this all with my sister. She looked at me and said wow that’s not how I look back on my life at all. At first, I was selfishly mad. Thinking ‘that’s because you left me here with our old parents when I was seven’. But the truth is, she did what all normal 17 year old do, she went away to college. As we were talking, I realized that I had a different relationship with my parents than they experienced. While my sisters were younger my parents worked non stop to provide for us. By the time I came around they were tired from working so much and spent more time with me. I am sure that no one cares to read about this. But, by hearing other stories I have been able to get to this point. Maybe someone out there needs to hear this. I know now, just because I am accepting this, by no way means I am giving up the fight.

So, I have been working on my thesis and it is really coming along a lot better than I expected. I actually have found evidence of EL Lissitzky and Shklovsky were attending a few of the same meetings. This is what I needed. Up until now, I felt like I was making it up as I went. Also, I have been working on a logo for a Law School. I am not very good when it comes to logos. I almost feel guilty for even attempting to create a logo. Because I know it is not going to be the best logo. But damn do I need the money.